Wow!

Wow! What a rush the last 6 months have been and only one thing is a constant in my life... and that's PEW... Psycho-Ex Wife...

Warrior and I have been up and down, sad and happy, frustrated and victorious... We are sure that we will make it through this... In time...

Well... in about 2 months, we are getting married! And although most couples would be 100% done plannign their special day, Warrior and I harldy ever think about it! You see... it's not about the party, the food, the location, the dress... it's about bringing both of us together in one of the most beautiful ways... through marriage. It's about bringing our 2 little families together... officially!

In 11 weeks, we are moving to our new beautiful house! THIS we are excited about! Finally, every child will have their own space... This is a place where only WE will be creating memories... no previous relationships, no other memories... This is the home where we will spend our first Christmas as The Warriors... This is where our kids will grow up part time... This is where we will host family BBQs, dinners, home groups... This is where we will grow old together and the grand children will visit... This is OUR home... And for that we are greatful, and excited!

2010 has been a busy year full of tears and laughter... And certainly full of growing for all of us... and we're only 6 months in... Wow... Hold on to your hats... tie your seatbelts! We ain't done yet! :)

It's certainly been a while!

Well, as the title states, it has certainly been a while! And the reason is because I, we, have been so busy!

Our schedule includes preparing our house for sale, plannign a wedding, and now I am working with the Cancer Society too...

So I apologize for not having been faithful in my postings...

Thinking of you...

This weekend I lost someone very special to me. My brother-in-law, after a hard 3-month battle with cancer, left us on Saturday morning. My sister was by his side, actually she layed on his chest while he took his last breathes. She said it was a peaceful passing.

Syd was a very important part of my life. I first met him shortly after the birth of my son in 2005. My sister had already been with him for over a year by the time I met him. To be honest, the reasons I had for not wanting to meet him were stupid. You see, he is 25 years older then my sister, and at the time I thought their relationship was wrong… Who was I to judge… Who was I to judge him, my sister and their relationship.

In 2008, I seperated from my husband, and Syd and my sister were there to take me in. I didn’t know what to do with my time on the weekends that my son was with his father, and so, I would head over to their place on Friday night after work, and return home on Sunday. Syd and my sister ride sport bikes… not cruisers! It wasn’t long that I traded my Honda Shadow Ace for a Honda CBR600RR, just like the one Syd had… I was a big girl now! Riding a bike just like Syd’s! That was special to me… You see, Syd has been around the sport bike motorcycle scene forever. He was one of the first in the area to have a Hayabusa. He was the first to be chased down by the cops with the airplane. He was very well respected in the sport bike scene, and he was MY brother-in-law!

To me Syd was more then just a legend, an idol… He took care of me… He always made sure my bike was tip-top (no matter which one), stripping it of its plastics within minutes of arriving. He taught me what certain parts did, how the mechanics of it all worked… and my job was always holding the flashlight! And he always said that I was the best flashlight holder he had ever had! LOL! He made sure I was always ok when we rode together. He taught me what I needed to push my own limits. I remember him telling my sister to “let me go faster”, that I was good to go! He stood up for me when the boys would tease… telling them to watch what they say, that I’m faster then most of them…

Syd had a great sense of humour. Up until his final days he still loved to tease and make us laugh. On my final visit we laughed, to the point of tears, for a couple hours…

It’s times like these, when we loose someone close to us, that I take great comfort knowing that the Lord is taking care of him, the same way he took care of me. And according to my son, he’s kicking some ass up there racing around… Life is short, enjoy it while you’re here… Syd did…

Until we meet again brother…

Forever...

Not talking about a year, no not three of four
I don't want that kind of forever in my life any more
Forever always seems to be around when things begin but, forever never seems to be around when things end

So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not another day less will do from you

People spend so much time every single day
Running 'round all over town giving there forever away
But no, not me I won't let my for ever roam
And now I hope that I can find my forever a home

Like a handless clock with numbers on an infinte of time
No not the forever found only in the mind
Forever always seems to be around when things begin
But forever never seems to be around when things end

- Ben Harper

I Hate Goodbyes...

Someone very close to me as been ill for over 2 months. The symptoms experienced by him 2 months ago we very similar to those of the H1N1 virus, and so the doctors sent him home, telling him he would be fine within in the next few days.

A few days turned into a couple weeks, and he was finally admitted to the hospital after having a stubburn fever for over 6 weeks.

In the hospital, the doctors performed test after test, with no luck. Every theory they came up with was crushed by test results that could not support their theories. Days after day a new theory, a new test, a negative result. Until Saturday...

On Saturday morning, they found out that he had a tumour the size of a small soft ball on his liver... Yesterday, they found nodules on his lungs. Currently they are waiting for biopsy results to find out just how long he has to live.

You see... I hate goodbyes... I don't know anyone who actually likes them. And this person has done so much for me in the last couple of years, that I will truly miss him. He has had a huge influence on me, and my son. He will be greatly msised when his time comes.

But this situation has reminded me that we do not live forever. That we need to cherish those we love while they are here. We need to appreciate them on their good days, and bad days. This reminds me that we need to forgive, to let go, to move on. Life is too short... don't dwell on things that should or could have been. Make the best of what you have, and who you have to share it with.

Brother, I pray for you everyday...

8 months...

On November 10th, Warrior and I will have been together for 8 months... "That's not that long" you may think, but I moved in with him officially in June, and basically, from about April on, have spent every day with him. Sure we work and have other obligations, but there isn't a minute that doesn't go by during my day that I don't think of him, and he the same (or at least that's what he says!LOL!) Between each other, we write over 3000 texts each a month. And every day, when the final minutes of my day come to an end, I cannot wait to get into my car and go home to him. Night time is no different. We spend the night glued to each other... I cannot fall asleep without him holding me.

And so the next months will be difficult. We are embarking on a stressful 9 months. We have decided to purchase a new house, and we have obligations over the next months until our home is complete. You see we have found a new home, not yet built. But this will be our home, not just another house.

Each child will have their own bedroom. Our master bedroom will be our retreat from the daily madness, complete with a balcony. This is our dream home, and so all the work and sacrifices over the next months is well-worth it! It will be an adjustment for all, once again, but an adjustment with an awesome outcome! We are all very excited!

I often wonder why Warrior has come into my life. And I can only come up with one answer... to show me what love is truly all about. And every day I thank God for bringing us together.

Only 8 months together, and already so much accomplished. I am excited about our future...

I cried...

I will eventually finish posting about my trip to Deals Gap... I'm just finding hard to find the time to do it... Our family life went from hectic to chaotic in the last couple of weeks! First we registered the kids in activities, and now we are busy every night of the week... Second we got our puppy, Maya. It's like raising a baby all over again! But she's cute, so it's worth it!

But last week was a huge week for me, with lots of up and down emotions... I finally, officially decided that I was going to sell my sport bike to get myself a cruiser again. Why? There are many reasons, but the main one is that Warrior and I just weren't riding the bikes like they are meant to be ridden. I found myself riding my CBR 600RR, capable of easily doing 200 km/hr +, at 10 to 15 over the limit everywhere I go... cause the "racing/stunting law" frankly scares me! And for those who have never had a super sport bike or have never had the chance to ride one, riding that speed is well... physically painful! All your weight is on your wrists, and arms. The faster you go, the more the wind catches into you and the less weight you have on your wrists. I mean, this is a race bike after all...

The other reason is that the kids, Warrior's kids, love to ride. I had a very simple rule on the sport bike... No passengers! ESPECIALLY not kids! The accelaration, lean and even the way to hold on was too risky for them. And this year, the kids went for 1 ride each I think... They miss it greatly.

So last week we went to the dealership, and I sat on a 2009 V-star Custom (1100cc). I found it relatively lighter then the Yamaha Warrior, but I wasn't crazy about the colour and all the chrome. The only one they had on display was the Candy Red one...

After having the dealership look at our trades we returned home. At some point on the way home, I broke down, and we're talking big crocodile tears!! I thought about all the good times I had on the CBR. Thought about how getting that bike had brought me closer to my sister and brother-in-law. I thought about all the late crazy nights, speeding around the city. I thought about Warrior and I's trip to Deals Gap. Thinking about all that really made me sad about getting rid of it!

The next day the dealership gave us a deal that couldn't be beat anywhere else. And by Friday night my bike now belonged to the dealership. The black V-star (the one I wanted) had just been built and so I headed outside to see my new toy... and she was beautiful! Much better then the red one, and much nicer then I thought she was gonna be! I was happy!

On Saturday I cruised back in forth in town, and on Sunday Warrior and I went out for a bit... I can honestly say that I love this bike... The CBR will be missed, but the memories and pics are still alive! It's time to create new memories with this new bike!